As Snow Becomes Water, A Stranger Becomes Stalker
by BakaProductions
Summary: Shikaku Yuki hasn't the most common stories. And a grey-head just decided to probe himself into that story, instead of his lovely orange books. *Hint, hint* Rated M for safety reason, might be lemon in later chapters.
1. Dragi Mori

A bar in Konohagakure. 9 P.M.

The badly lit place didn't make much of a comfort, but it was a beginning. The crowded place mostly was of depressed civilians or ninja's that finally had a day off, and used it to drown themself in western liqour with their comrades. Said place was the current house of two kunoichi's that was sitting in the bar, one darkly brooding in her sake, the other happily drinking.

Mitarashi Anko downed her cup of sake and turned to stare at her friend again. "Why did you call me here again?" she asked with a goofy smile. The frost haired woman looked at her in disbelief and then rolled her light amber eyes.

"Should have figured you'd forget by the time you saw _**it**_." The woman snapped irritably. Anko put a hand to her chest in mock hurt before bursting out laughing.

"Seriously! What kind of friend do you take me for! Ahahahaaah..." Anko said loudly as her laugh went into a intake of breath. "Your pregnant?" she asked, grabbing the drink out of the white haired womans hands. "WHAT!" she screeched, gaining alot of attention.

The pale cheeks of the woman went red in a second as she glared her friend down. "NOO!!" she yelled loudly, grabbing the bottle of sake and downing it in one chug. Anko rubbed the back of her head nervously and smiled apologetically. "Saa ne.. One puts one and one together and you get.." she started but trailed off as she saw the look on the womans face.

"Nani?" Anko exclaimed while holding her hands up like she couldn't do anything about it. "Yuki-chan, you know what I mean!" she said and pointed at her with a half empty bottle of sake. Said woman waved the bartender over with her finger as she noticed the distressed look on her friends face.

"My mother is coming to visit." Anko spluttered, sake running down her chin onto the counter as she stared at Yuki after the last statement.

"Oy! Bartender! Cut the sake and bring the vodka!!"

--

Anko wasn't exactly so trivial. Neither was Shikaku Yuki when it came to family matters. But who would, having the old Daimyo's blood flowing through her veins. Bad enough being a bastard offspring, as she would put it.

Yuki's mother was cursed from Yukigakure. Not only had she been fooling around with the Daimyo, she'd become pregnant too! And she wasn't even purely human, like the rest of them. At this part of the story, Yuki often sneer and probably mumbled highly inappropiate words about said village.

Yuki's mother, Mori, descended from the frost warriors. They exsisted before the ninja war, and gradually died in the constant changing of the worlds. Mori was a beautiful woman, indeed. But the tales of her descendors kept people away. Rumours about them coming in boats and mating with angry ice sprits in the old mountains made people glare and suher their children away.

No wonder Mori set her pregnant butt off to Konoha, where a more liberal Daimyo and Kage ruled. She slipped into the crowds, noone knew anything of the tales of the Snow country, until the Sandaime stuck his nose too far into the library. He informated her that he knew, and she slowly grew pharanoid and crazy, would break down the moment someone looked at her too long, to intensely. She fleed away from Konoha, leaving the newborn at the hospital.

And now, Dragi Mori was dragging her insane self back to Konoha. Only one thought crossed the snow-haired ninja:

**Shit.**


	2. The psycho pedophiles attack!

"Why is she coming now

"Why is she coming now? Can't she just, like, die or something?" Yuki said, flinging her arms out, hitting a passerby villager who scurried away, muttering. Anko raised her eyebrows and leaned heavily on her friend. "That's your mom your talking about, honey. Where's the love?" she said in a slurry voice, her dark eyes swimming. Yuki glared. "Yes, leaving me alone in a village filled with psycho pedophiles is really loving!" she snapped, pushing Anko off her shoulder. The bang and meowing from stray-cats were unavoidable as Anko stumbled into an alley.

"Hey!" she called as she came back out, cats jumping out from everywhere. "That was uncalled for!" she said and crossed her arms, avoiding to look the kunoichi in the eyes. Yuki sighed and rubbed the bridge of her nose. "Anko-chan..." she said slowly, closing her eyes. Anko swirled around, as if she was dancing somehow. "Yeeees..?" she drawled with a broad grin, forgetting to be angry. "Can I hide at your palce for a few months?" Yuki said, flashing the ultimate puppy-pout at the drunken woman.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!"

"PLEASE! Please, Anko-chaan!" Yuki said and clasped her hands together, widening her eyes and pouted. Anko covered her eyes with her hands as she stumbled away from the threathening woman. "It burns! Nooo! The cuteness! Gah!" Anko wailed as she turned around, only to fall flat down on her face. The cat she tripped on screeched and jumped away. Yuki sweatdropped and sighed loudly. "Should have known.." she murmured and went to pick dear Anko up from the ground.

"Ooow.." Anko complained as she rubbed her face with one hand. Yuki glowered at her. "No more vodka for you!" she said angrily as Anko gasped in fear. "No! Take my food, take my toilet paper, take my 'TOYS' even, but not my booze! I'll die!" she screamed at Yuki, gaining a lifted eyebrow at the word 'toys'. "Do you have something to tell me?" she asked Anko, who looked a little lost. "Yes, I do." Said a more masculine voice from behind them.

"The hell?!" Anko yelled and fell down. The man sticked his nose out of his bright book for a moment to look at the sprawled female carelessly. "Smooth." He commented before turning back to Yuki, "I owe you a favour, don't I?" the infamous Copycat ninja said, stuffing his book back in his face, but Yuki knew he was watching her. "Yeah, I guess.. For doing nothing.." she answered, muttering the last thing under her breath. She had rescued his beloved 'literature' collection for being burned to the ground by a cackling Anko.

The prize was having Kakashi worshipping her feet for four months, and Anko not speaking to her for six.

Kakashi lowered his book, and his eye wrinkled, showing that he was smiling. "You can crash at my place!" he said, exitement laced in his voice. "Whaat?" Yuki said in disbelief, jaw dropping a few inches. "B-but.." she stuttered as Kakashi flipped to a new page in his interesting books. Anko pulled harshly on Kakashi's pants, which was ignored perfectly by Hatake-sama himself. "No buts, I overheard your conversation earlier-", "YOU WHAT?" Yuki cut him off, but she was also ignored, and he droned on. "I can't let this chance of repaying my depth go away. Since _someone_ is unwillingly to help a friend." He said and kicking Anko's legs away from his private area.

Anko pouted and crossed her arms childishly, laying down on the hard ground. Yuki stared at them, thinking about her possibilities. She could, A. Be home and **handle**(killing) her insane, sad mom, or she could, B. Sleep over at a perverted, former ANBU captains apartment and may suffer from severe braindamage caused by that experience. She bit her lip and pictured both situations and decided.

"Okay, old man." Kakashi's head snapped up to glare at the name, but Yuki just smirked and winked playfully. "Looks like you got yourself a roomie." She said and shrugged slightly. She turned her head and didn't see his eyes light up. "Okay... **Roomie**.." he said in an teasing tone as he walked away. "I'll see you tomorrow.." he called over his shoulder, before ingrossing himslef in his book again. Yuki sighed and rubbed her bare arms that suddenly had goosebumps. Anko blinked at her in shock.

"You did not just do that." She said and held up an accusing finger at her. Yuki looked at her, as if questioning the drunk lady. "What? It's your fault!" Yuki said and frowned. Anko sneered. "Not! You were all winky and flirty, I was just.. Laying here!" she said, fully sober all of a sudden. Yuki rolled her eyes and coughed to mask a laugh. "Yeah, that didn't come out right, Anko-chan.." she said with sparkly eyes as Anko hit her forehead. "You see? Five seconds and your all pervert already!" she said and smirked as Yuki blushed deep red.

Yuki yawned and began to walk down the way. "I'm sleepy. Let's go home.". Anko rolled her eyes behind her back and hauled herself up. "Someone is gonna get some.." she sang quietly, smiling as Yuki froze. "I'm not interested in old men!" she screeched with a red face, glaring at Anko. Anko bent over laughing and pointed at Yuki's face. "Oh, kami.. Your redder than a spanked butt!" she said and slapped her back. Yuki turned and began to yell at Anko, but was drawn into a hug that cut off her yelling. "Shut up, I thought you were tired?" she said teasingly. Yuki huffed and blew some white strands out of her face.

"If I get raped by him, I'm blaming you."


	3. Move in with Jiisan?

**Okay.. I've done some research on the Kakashi fiction, and most of them is about him and Sakura. shudders That is just.. Revolting and really disgusting. She's his student, he's about15 years older than her or something! Gah, someone get a bucket.. Anyway on with the story:)**

Yuki squinted her eyes and silently crept through the shadows. Who knew when or where he'd suddenly pop out with his weird book and masky face. Yuki frowned and almost slapped her face when something orange flew by her, almost making her scream of the resemblance of Kakashi's signature book. But the orange blob stopped and started to scream something, so it definetly wasn't his book.

"DATTEBAYO!!" the orange person finished before raising his fist in the air. Yuki raised her eyebrows at his antics and grinned slyly seeing the mop of golden hair on top of the small boy. "Good evening." She said next to him, making him jump at least ten inches up in the air. "Aaah! Awesome! How did you sneak up on my, pretty lady?!" he said in shock/wonder, cerulean eyes shining in admiration. Yuki blinked astounished at him and shrugged. "I walked up to you.". The blondes face fell and he looked sad. Yuki frowned and then smirked, "With my super-sneaky ninja skills!" she said and poked his nose, making him smile. "Sugoi!" he yelled, rubbing his nose with a pale blush in his cheeks.

Yuki glanced at his forehead and saw his blue hitai-ate. "Aaah.. Your a genin, I presume?" she asked, having the boy nod quickly. "I am Uzumake Naruto and I will be the next Hokage, dattebayo!" he yelled with a wide smile. _Yet so pained._ Yuki thought sadly but replaced it with a wide smile as she ruffled his hair. "I'll watch you, Naruto-kun, I'm sure you'll become one hell of a Hokage!" she said and saw Naruto's eyes light up.

"Such language, Snow." Said an amused voice. Yuki turned and jumped at the sight of the person. "Old man!" she shrieked with wide eyes. "Have you come for me?" she asked as if she was talking to the reaper, big teary eyes and pale skin. Naruto scratched the back of his head and looked from Kakashi to Yuki. "Naruto, I see you've met Yuki-chan." Kakashi said, averting his gaze from the freaking out woman, who merely twitched at the suffix 'chan'. _We're not on 'chan' and 'kun' terms, old man!! _She screamed in her mind, pulling her hair. Naruto hesitated but nodded. "Ano, Kakashi-sensei.." he said while eyeing the close-to-passing-out-from-stress woman. Kakashi simply smiled behind his mask and said "Hmmmm?". Naruto pointed at Yuki who fell over on the ground. Kakashi glanced at her for a second before shrugging. "Mou, Naruto.. She's my roomie, I'll take her home." he said with an glimt in his eyes that made Naruto's insides twist. "A-ah! Okay! Ramen time!" he quickly yelled before bashing off, leaving Yuki to her destiny.

Yuki was swimming in a big bath tub. The rich blue water bubbled when she moved, making her laugh. She sighed and rolled over in the water, floating on her back. On the edge of the ocean-like tub, a little bottle tilted over, releasing a surge of perfumed oil that flowed down in the water and mixed together with the water. Yuki moaned in contentness and tried to swim further into the bath, but couldn't. She opened her yellow eyes and tried to roll over on her stomach again. It was hard but after a few minutes she managed. Yuki was laying in the water, panting and pink in the face from the work on doing such a simple thing. "What. pant. The. pant. Hell! gasp" she said loudly. "Oh, your awake!" said a voice she recognized. Her eyes widened and she let out a very dog-like yelp. Her eyes went up and she saw Kakashi's masked face stare at her. "What a cute sound!" he exclaimed and looked at her like she was a three-year old. "YOU BASTARD!!" she screamed and lunged at him.

Kakashi made a loud noise as Yuki crashed him into a wall. Yuki began to pound at him, when she noticed small pieces of wood punctured her knuckles. "Eh?" she said lost before hearing a dark chuckle. "One wouldn't think that you were trained by Chai, seeing you like this, _**Yuki-chan!**_" Kakashi said, his book flopped on the bed. Yuki glared and did a last pound on the log that she had attacked. It exploded in small pieces. Kakashi's only visible eye widened. "Oh really, **_Jii-san_**?" Yuki said with a sweet smile as Kakashi clenched his fist at the nickname. "I'm. Only. Two. Years. Older. Than. You!" Kakashi pressed through gritted teeth. Yuki giggled girlishly and held her finger up to her lips, who shaped an perfect 'o'. Kakashi actually blushed a little. Yuki grinned at this and lifted herself graceful from the floor. "Now, where do I sleep, _**Kas-chan**_?" she said and watched Kakashi wince at the new, maybe even more provacative nickname. "I'm older than you." he muttered under his breath as he walked past her, grabbing her wrist on the way.

Kakashi glanced back on the smiling female that he'd let into his territory, no he had actually INVITED her. Almost begged. He did in his mind. She was dressed in a leather and whipped him and he begged for more. Kakashi blinked and shook his head. _No more Come Come Dominatrix!_ he said to himself sharply, hearing a part of his brain whine in protest. He felt Yuki place a little hand on his shoulder and held in his gasp as goosebumps trailed down his arm from where she had touched him. He cursed the effect she had on him already. He'd probably faint if she hugged him. God he felt like.. Like.. Like Hinata around Naruto! Just that Naruto was a tall, slender, white-haired woman with yellow eyes and a teasing mouth. And he was most certainly not a little, skinny, white-eyed girl who stuttered. "Kakashi? Why did you stop?" Yuki asked and looked at him questioning. "U-um.. Ano.. Y-yuki-chan..?" he stuttered shocked, rubbing his right arm absentmindedly. _Okay maybe he stuttered, but he wasn't a girl!_ Yuki raised her eyebrows. "Right, this is the room?" she said and pointed at the door he had stopped infrotn of. He just nodded, knowing he'd just gape like a Koi-fish if he'd opened his mouth.

Yuki nodded and waved gently at him as she went into the room, almost shutting the door in his face when he stuck his foot in the opening. "Yes?" she said and opened the door, smiling stunningly. Kakashi grinned under his mask and pointed behind her. She turned and gasped at the sight. The room had walls coloured in a harsh red and they were covered in several weapons and scrolls. She let her eyes wander of each one of them. Scythe, Katana, Senbon, Jutsu-scroll, Summoning-scroll. Her eyes widened at a Come Come Paradise Poster and quickly turned to the next most interesting thing in the room.

It was a double bed.


	4. The strange mission :3

**Thank you theREvamped for reviewing on every chapter and helping me improve my writing! Sakura _may_ be kinda OOC in this chapter. Inner Sakura took over I swear!**

"Hell no!" Yuki hissed at the smiling man, throwing a pillow at him. Kakashi caught the pillow easily and looked at her funny.

"It's only a bed, Yuki-chan-" he started but was cut off my a blue pillow hitting his head.

"ONLY A BED?!" Yuki shrieked from the other side of the room, "And your what?! Only a pervert?!".

Kakashi glared at that and sighed loudly. "Look, we can do this the easy way or the hard way," he said and began to take of his jounin west, making Yuki blush and hold up her hands.

"What the? Put your clothes back on you pervert!" she said in a hysteric, shrill voice. She panted and her fist was ready to smash his face. And other bodyparts. Cough testicels cough.

Kakashi groaned and hit his forehead. Why did she have to misunderstand everything? Sure, they were going to share a double bed, but jeez! He let his west fall to the ground and had her pressed up against the wall in a blink of the eye.

"Listen to me, woman!" He almost growled, making Yuki pale a bit. "This is my house, and if your staying here you will do as I say!" he commanded and Yuki just muttered an answer. Kakashi let her go and stalked out of the room, grabbing his book on the way.

Yuki breathed in deeply, trying to ease her redden face and pumping heart_. He's an old man, he's an old man, he's an hot old man, he's an hot old man that's into dominatrix sex, he's an old man, he's an old man.. _she rambled in her mind. She blinked suddenly. _Did Kakashi blush? _she wondered, cutting off the hysteric turning fan girl voice in her head. _Only when he read his books._ Yuki grinned and fell down on the bed. "I'm gonna make you blush, old man.." she snickered. She then sniffed herself and frowned. "After I've showered." she muttered and jumped off the bed. She saw her bag on a chair in the corner. Yuki smirked and took it in her arms before exiting the room.

"Kakashi!" she yelled, earning no answer. She shrugged and went around, opening every door to find the bathroom. Closet, kitchen, living room, closet, bathroom! She inwardly cheered and went into the little room. It had all the things you need. Toilet, sink and shower. Yuki nodded approvingly, and dumped her bag on the toilet. She closed the door and looked for a lock. Of course there wasn't one. She growled and quickly found herself a towel, hanging it close to the shower incase Kakashi walked in. She eyed the door warily and stripped off her clothes, before going in the shower cabinet. She turned a knob and a drizzle of cold water rinsed her skin. She rubbed her skin, having no soap or scrub, she did it with her hands. She quickly rinsed her hair, since she hadn't have the opertunity to pack down shampoo or anything. As the water cleared her mind she began to think over what happened the last minutes(!). _Why is he so rough? He invited me here, I'm the guest here! Pffh.. Perverted old man. _

_-_

"Aah. Sorry, I was lost on the road known as life." Kakashi said to his students. While waiting for the milliseconds it took for them to explode, he put his book in his pocket.

"LIAR!!" Sakura and Naruto yelled outraged, while Sasuke just made a sound which annoyingly sounded like 'Hn.'. Kakashi rubbed the back of his head and jumped off the bridge railing.

"Today we're going on a mission!" he announced with a smile (Behold the crinkled eyeball!) and a peace sign. His students went exctatic, and he didn't want to ruin it so he just shut up as they jumped up and down and yelled random things. _Kids._

"A MISSION! YEAH! FINALLY!" Naruto and Sakura yelled and pumped their fists in the air. The dark haired Sasuke plainly stared at them like they were aliens and muttered a very disgusted 'Hn.'

Hearing that sound, Sakura rolled her eyes over to him as her widened and her lips curved in an evil smile. "Sasuke-kun! Smile! We have a mission! Good stuff!" she yelled before clamping herself on his arm, shocking the boy for a second before he pried her off him.

Kakashi and Naruto sweatdropped, and coughed to gain the attention from the emotional couple- I mean people. A pair of teary green orbs and cold black ones turned and quickly made their way to the blue and grey ones staring at them. Sakura blinked her tears away and scrambled quickly after her sensei and second team mate, leaving Sasuke to stare after them. He looked saddened, but went after them silently.

"Ne, Kakashi-sensei!" Sakura finally spoke up, "What is the mission?" she asked, looking suspiciously at her lazy sensei.

Naruto made agreeing grunts and Sasuke mumbled yet another 'Hn', but a questioning one this time.

Kakashi put a finger to his chin, in a thinking manner before his eyes lightened up, as if he remembered something. "Move something!" he said and jumped away from foul aimed punch from his students.

Cursing, the three children jumped after their sensei, over the rooftops in Konoha. They went past the Hokages Tower and came into a boring block filled with houses. It was filled with families and seniors. Kakashi halted infront of a blue house and went straight through the supposely unlocked doors. (Who doesn't lock their doors?) The hallway was white and very.. Empty by the looks of it. Only a little table and a book ruled the little room. Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke looked around curiously as they followed their sensei through several doors.

"Kakashi-sensei, who owns this house? What are going to move?" asked Sakura, being the one with the questions this peticular afternoon.

Kakashi didn't answer, just went through a last door.

The students looked annoyed at each other and followed him with raised eyebrows. The layout in the room was something they had never seen before.

Red walls filled with big pictures of screaming people, their faces scrunched up and mouth wide open. The only furniture in the room was a big bed, and to Sakura's horror there was a pair of handcuffs on one of the pillows.

"K-Kakashi-sensei.. Is this your house?" she stuttered, looking around noticing other questionable objects which will not be mentioned here for the safety of my story rating.

Kakashi stared at her for a minute, before slowly shaking his head, grey gravity-defying hair swaying at his motions.

Sakura sighed in relief and looked around.

"Grab these boxes and empty that closet." Kakashi instructed the three genins before exiting the room, leaving them there groaning and slioghtly freaked out.

He walked around, opening every door, looking for one room that he NEEDED to find. His eyes stopped on an already open door and he walked in. To say that the bathroom was huge would be an understatement. It was ridiculous. You could play Go in it, and have three people dance tango around you while someone was on the toilet. He walked over to a closet and opened it. A gasp left his mouth as a blinding light came out. "Lingerie!" he whispered loudly before hugging an amount of it into his face. "So... Soft!" he choked on dramatic tears.

"He really is a pervert.." Sakura whispered to her team mates as they stood in the door with filled up boxes. "And an old one too!" Naruto shoot in, getting weird looks from the other two. "Hn." said the infamous Uchiha answer.

**Yes, slightly SasuSaku, and very OOC when I think about it Sweatdrop**


	5. Dog!

Calling Shikaku Yuki a lucky woman depends on which point of view your looking at it from. That is also the reation that will follow a random type of action being done by Hatake Kakashi.

If your Mitarashi Anko, it´s time to barf and commit seppuku.

If your Ichiraku Ayame, it´s raping time.

Yuki is neither of these women, so she has an unique reaction: Scream as hell.

Kakashi will never find out why she didn´t respond positively to his move. **Litterally speaking.**

"What is the matter with you?!" she screamed and threw a pair of shoes on him.

He ducked skillfully and gazed incredously at her. "It felt right at the moment." he shrugged and took a step to the left to dodge a huge .. Doll or something. It looked creepy.

Yuki sneered while grabbing new things form the boxes that were all over the floor. _Stupid sexy man! Moving my stuff into his apartment! He saw my bedroom! I´ve hidden it so long and he sees it! I feel so violated and.. And.. Humiliated! God, he´s gonna pay the price of messing with me! _she thought angrily before she flung yet another heavy object at him, aiming low.

**CLANG!**

Kakashi´s eyes widened and his hands reached for his special place before he fell over in feeble position.

Yuki stare in wonder. The great Copy ninja down with a nut damage caused by a geisha doll!  
Her lips curved into a smile before she broke into a laughter. She couldn´t control it, it just flew over her lips. She embraced herself to cease the shaking of her abdoment, but it didn´t stop. Until she heard a poofing sound. "Fuck me sideways and call me mother Mary.." she whispered as the smoke thinned to reveal a log. " A replacement!" she muttered loudly and jumped as to warm hands gripped her shoulders.

"I would like if you stopped throwing dolls at me, Yuki-chan." his smooth voice whispered into her ear as his hands moved down around her waist and pressed her against his rock hard frame.

Yuki blushed. Hard. Furiously. Take a picture. It was tomatoe-Hinata-Naruto-hug-red. If he had said that sentence normally, she would scoff. But he didn´t. She opened her mouth to answer smartly, but not a sound came out.

Kakashi smirked unnoticed into the crook of her neck and his hand dissapeared under her shirt.

Yuki gasped and became redder.

Kakashi raised an eyebrow andbegan to draw small circles on her stomach, while breathing on her earlobe. "It´s not that bad, ne, Yuki?" he said huskily.

Yuki couldnt help herself from imaging those pictures. Hatake Kakashi had just commited yobisute(1)! And frankly, she didn´t feel that offended!

Kakashi sniffed the soft skin on her neck and almost groaned. She smelled of vanilla.

"Dog.." Yuki whispered, trying to calm herself down.

Kakashi chuckled and licked her neck. "Hai?" he muttered, his hands beginning to travel further up on her stomach.

Yuki took a sharp intake of breath before she pushed away from him firmly. "Don´t be a such pig." she smiled at him.

Kakashi (Yuki has a magical through mask-a-vision) pouted but it was quickly replaced by a smug look. "Then I´ll be a hound." he stated for himself before turning his back on the confused female.

"A hound?" Yuki muttered as she cocked her head. "Why do I feel like running away?"

Me: Okay, thank you for all readers, reviewers and pickers! I love you all!

Kami-sama: NO HUGGING!

Me: T-T You suck.

Kami-sama: EEH?! Sônna! Nande?!

Me: Hugging is a human resource, how dare you ask!

Kami-sama: Blasphemy, child.

Me: Hai- I still don´t belive it.

Naruto: Sônna! T´bayo!

Me: -.-; Please adopt Naruto!

Japanese corner!

(1) Yobisute: No use of suffix, very intimate and private way of adressing a person. Yobisute is mostly used by married couples, inbetween family or close friends. In other references, yobisute is counted as an offense.

Sônna: Means "Never", "I don´t believe it".

Nande: "Why?"

T´bayo: A version of Naruto´s line Dattebayo, which have been translated to "Believe it."

That´s all for now! Sorry it´s short but my mom thinks I should turn my sleeping routine back, and it´s 2.33 in the morning now so.. Nightie night!


	6. An almost perfect moment

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, if I did; Sakura would have acted like Inner Sakura, and Hinata would be a mini-Anko :D But sadly they aren't, so obviously I don't.**

**Sorry for the shortness of the last chapter! Lazyness and a heavy insomnia has it's faults! Plus; If you feel like commenting on my spelling or grammar, go right ahead! I have no clue if my english grammars are right, I write how I feel like it.**

**'Fuck you.' - Inner.**

_'Fuck you.'** -** Thoughts of POV-character._

"Fuck you." - Normal speaking.

**Enjoy :P**

Yuki was currently shopping vegetables, when she froze in mid-action. It hit her like a gust of wind, the feeling. You have this feeling in your gut. It's a nervous, highly unpleasant feeling. It was so nervously unpleasant, it was unpleasant how nervous Yuki became because of it. And she couldn't find out excactly _why_ she felt that way at that moment. It could have been the nervousness of her mothers whenever-that-happened-visit, or the fact she hadn't retrieved any mission for 1 week. Or it could be her roomie's mysteric and suspicious words.

Yuki silently continued to grab fresh vegetables and placing them in the brown bags, before moving on to the fruit section of the stand. Kakashi had been outmost molesting her two nights ago, not that she minded so much, even though she cursed herself for it. At the same night he had given her almost an warning. _"Then I'll be a hound." _sounded innocent enough for a normal person, but it couldn't be. In Yuki's ears it was a threat of her life. Of her virtue too for that sake. She doubted in her mind around that excact word, and a little voice sneaked in her head.

**'You know you want it.**' Yuki shuddered at the rawness of the voice. It would be heard through one of Gai and his students tirades of 'YOUTH!'.

_'W-who are you? What the hell do you mean by that?' _she said, stammering slightly in the beginning. Don't blame her for not being used to confront foreign voices in her head.

A loud chuckle rumbled in her head. **'You want him!' **came the singing reply.

That was about the time when Yuki crushed the poor peach in her hand. _'...Excuse me?'_ she thought coldly, killer intent radiating off her like strong perfume in the summer.

A few civilians stiffened and sent her hurried glances before scurrying away. The stand owner eyed her warily with widened eyes and muttered religious phrases. "Kami-sama... Drain her anger off my fruit.."

Yuki didn't even listen to the obscure sentences the man whispered, but contined to make peach juice in her hand. Inbetween a radius of five yards the temperature dropped to -25C. _Hatake Kakashi, whatever you are up to; I will stop you no matter what!_

On training ground 7, the grey-haired male sneezed. He blinked and gazed at his students who were throwing kunai at a poor cat. "Must be Yuki-chan thinking about me.. How cute.." he muttered with a adoring smile on his face.

"KAKASHI-SENSEI!! YOUR DOING IT AGAIN!!" Naruto yelled outraged, pointing a finger accusingly at him.

"I have no idea what your talking about, Naruto. I was just sitting here." Kakashi said matter-of-factly.

Sakura stepped forward. "Your not reading your book, it's a clear sign that your thinking of Yuki-san again!" she said loudly, joining the point-at-sensei-gang.

Kakashi just rubbed the back of his head. "Maa... Is it really that obvious?" he asked his students.

"YES!" Sakura and Naruto chorused.

Kakashi looked bored again. "I was really thinking about how much I wanted some cookies." he said with an raised eyebrow.

"EEH?! SÔNNA!" it came shocked from his two loud students. Both of them turned to the third, expecting a 'hn, losers.' from him.

5,

4,

3,

2,

1,

"Your lying." Sasuke sniffed before turning his head.

Sakura fainted while Naruto attacked him head on. "WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO SASUKE?! ANSWER ME DATTEBAYO!!" he screamed outraged befopre he was bashed into the ground.

"Hn." Sasuke muttered and poked the motionsless Naruto with his foot.

Kakashi sighed and rubbed his temples. _My team is a real winner.. Yay..._

--

Anko's eyes widened in shock, her mouth fell open. Her arms were covered in goosebumps. She gripped her head in her hands and screamed to the skies: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! I had payed for that!!".

Genma shook his head. "Your overreacting, Anko-" he said before he went smashing through a wall.

"HOW. DARE. YOU!!" she shrieked and hugged the poor piece of heaven to her chest. "I was going to eat you, but.." she whispered as tears filled her eyes. "Waaah!" she yelled in despair, clutching her dead treasure tighter.

Genma saw his life pass in front of his eyes in a form of a very silly comedy. He grudginly cursed the heavens for giving Jaraiya the role as him. He didn't even look like the old man!

Anko dried her tears as she silently digged a hole in the ground, carefully and lovingly placing the dirty dango stick in the middle. Then she whispered the fourth prayer, before smothering the dirt over it.

People stopped to watch with sweatdrops as she made a cross of sticks.

Kurenai wrapped her arm around Anko's shoulder and followed her home, trying to cease the bawling of her friend.

--

Yuki had manged to actually buy some peaches before she rushed back to Kakashi's apartment- no, their apartment and slammed the door shut.

"Yo." Kakashi saluted.

She screamed in terror and ran past him, throwing the bag of peaches on him when she did. Yuki ran into the bathroom and locked the door. Well, tried to. "WHY DON'T YOU HAVE A LOCK ON THIS DOOR?!" she screamed in frustration.

Kakashi opened the door and looked at her like she was a plant. "In case people throw fruit at me for no reason and then attempt to lock themselves in my bathroom." he said sarcasticly and cocked an eyebrow.

Yuki blushed in emberrassment and glared at him. But his eye lured her in and she couldn't look away. The dark grey colour was fascinating, and when she looked closer, he had traces of muddy green near his pupil. It was.. pretty.

While she stared into his eyes, Kakashi had walked up to her, and stood a foot from her. He seemed to notice the distant look in her eyes and grabbed her chin gently.

Yuki snapped out of it and tried to get away from him, but his other hand had sneaked around her lower back, keeping her where she was.

Yuki struggled and growled at him, "What are you doing?" she asked angrily as she scratched his arms.

He didn't even wince as she ripped open his skin, rich blood running down his arms, dripping on the floor, and resting under her nails.

"I'm in love.." he murmured into her ear, causing her to stop abruptly in shock.

"W-what..?" she whispered with wide eyes.

Kakashi's grey eyes softened and he grabbed her right hand and brought it to his face. He carefully put her fingertips at the top of his mask and let her roll it down. _Look at me.._

Yuki gasped at the sight of his face. "Kirei...(1)" she whispered and placed her hand on his pale cheek.

He leaned into her hand, before sighing and pushing up his hitei-ate, showing his scar.

Yuki couldn't stop staring at his face. How could he hide such a handsome face from the world? Reading those perverted books and complaining of "Prefering the real deal."! If he went outside without a mask he'd get laid in no time!

Kakashi smirked and leaned down slowly.

Yuki blushed deeper by each passing second as he came closer, and closer. _Is he going to kiss me? If he does... I won't really mind by now..._ she thought with a little smile.

Kakashi saw it and pushed her head closer with his hand when-

**"DYNAMIC ENTRY!!" **Gai boomed as he kicked the bathroom door open. He swirled around and pointed at the pretty pissed Kakashi. "KAKASHI!! MY RIVAL!! I CHALLENGE YOU TO A DUEL!! MY YOUTH AGAINST YOUR COOLNESS" he said with some rather disturbing movements, including some pelvis thrusts.

Yuki gaped at the sight. She had never actually _met _Maito Gai, just heard him screaming from the neighbouring room and from Anko. He crossed the boundaries of her imaginations, with the bowl cut of YOUTH, the eyebrows of LOVE, the shiny teeth of DOOM, the green spandex suit of STRENGTH and the orange legwarmers of FIRE! She shuddered as he stopped dancing and laid his beady eyes on her.

"BEAUTIFUL MAIDEN! I, THE BEAUTIFUL GREEN BEAST OF KONOHA-" Gai began, hearts flowing out of his eyes, but was cut off by a battle cry from behind him.

"Thousand years of pain!" Kakashi yelled and sent Gai flying, crashing through the bathroom window.

An eerie silence filled the apartment. Yuki stared from the still-crouching Kakashi to the shattered window.

"AS SUSPECTED FROM MY RIVAL!!" came a strangled yell.

Yuki shook her head sadly. Kakashi's apartment was on the _ninth_ floor.

**That is all for now.. Damn, Gai ruined the perfect moment! XD I just had to put it there.. It was hilarious to write it. Dynamic entry!**

**Japanese corner!**

**(1) Kirei - I believe it means 'beautiful', but I could have written it wrong :D Do not use it yourself, it could be wrong.**


	7. Drooling Dogs

It was a cold morning in Konoha. After their rating it was. People was not eating ice cream today, just fanning themself lightly. Many have asked themselves, is Suna hotter than Konoha? Seeing it's a desert and all? Actually, Suna seems warmer because there is no moistoure in the air. Konoha is warmer. But let's get back to the story.. Among the busy streets filled with bright coloured kimono clothed people, was a person dressed in a robe. This person was clinging to a cane. People gave the person space to hump through, fearing whatever was hidden underneith those heavy black robes. It could be anything!

The creature staggered to a halt and it lifted what would be it's head. The hood fell off to reveal that of a young woman. A lot of people gasped in wonder. Such a beautiful face! But the hand that gripped the cane was wrinkled and scarred. Her face was faintly wrinkled around the eyes too, and she had lines on her forehead. But she still was beautiful. Her blue eyes narrowed at the sight of the Hokage Tower. She let out a tired and angry sigh and carried on her way to the building.

People turned their heads after her, but shuddered at her aura. It was.. Unpleasant. Very much like the one Morino Ibiki threw around himself. It was leering, promising of insane conversations and mind abuse. The woman didn't even stop to look around in the fancy limelighted streets, she had her eyes set on the tower. She didn't even turn to walk around people, she kept walking until her aura made them jump out of her way.

Dragi Mori. The insane beast-woman from Yukigakure. Back to Konoha to full-fill a dream:

Meet daughter.

That was the one thought that went on and on and on in her mind.

'Meetdaughtermeetdaughtermeetdaughtermeetdaughtermeetdaughtermeetdaughtermeetdaughter-'

Before the once in a while, single hateful thoughts: 'Damn you, Sandaime!', 'I smell natto!', 'Gyaa!'

Other than that, cricket noises.

The skin around her blue eyes contracted as she reached the door. She glared at the chuunin outside on a chair, who fleed in terror. Mori-sama(1, Yes, I know.) sniggered and punched through the door with a very precise aim.

"Hai, Dragi-san?" sighed Sarutobi as he puffed even deeper at his beloved pipe. She always did this, even when she was sane. Punch his door down or punch a hole big enough for her to crawl through. Very troublesome.

"Jiji." she sniggered with a stoic look on her face. "I'm here for my daughter, Yukina! Where is she? Does she miss me? Can she see me? How are her?(2)" she shooted her questions at him ten times rapid fire, making him fall over in his chair.

"I certainly didn't miss this.." he muttered under his breath as he stood up again with what was left of his dignity. "She's not here, Dragi-san.. She's.. With a man.." he said and put a hand infront of his eyes. Even he, who had survived two ninja wars, couldn't handle to see what was going on infront of him.

Mori-sama(She's egotastical, okay?) froze, before beginning to shake violently. Her face became longer, more beast-like and her eyes orange. Her teeth became fangs, her nails became claws and she uttered one last thing before dissapearing from the office:

"I like natto!"

yoshyoshyoshyoshyoshyoshyoshyoshyosh!

Kakashi stopped on top of a random building. He didn't know why, but the neck in his neck stood out and his arms were covered with goosebumps. He turned his head and looked into the orange eyes of Dragi Mori-sama!

The girlish scream was heard miles away.

Kakashi had indeed been imagining what the horrifying mother of his roomie was, but this went over all of his fantazies: A drooling, human/dog faced person with ragged white hair?

Not exactly what he expected but it would answer his question why Yuki was trying so hard to avoid this.. Thing.

"Kakashi-sensei! I'M NOT WALKING THAT MUTT! YOUR HEAR ME?!" Naruto screamed before setting off.

Kakashi noted in the back of his mind to ask the Hokage for a C-mission. Unless, he wanted Naruto to obtain a severe Cynophobia.

Kakashi turned to stare at the growling dog-woman. Not even Inuzuka Tsume looked like that pissed. If Mori had stayed in Konoha, the Inuzuka would maybe no longer be known as the Dog Clan.

Kakashi smiled and waved at the creature before doing Shinshin no Jutsu out of there.

Sandaime started to drown his sake even before he got the papers about alarming amounts of trees who had been ripped into little pieces by what it seemed to be teeths. He just knew that it wasn't Hyuuga Hinata who had zoned out again and screaming at the tree. And not Kiba letting Akamaru eating it because it frightened his teammate.

Sandaime sighed and reached for his pipe yet again. "I _swear _people wants me to die from lung cancer!"

Japanese corner!

(1) Seeing it's her point of view, it would be like calling herself 'Master Mori.' Funny, because Mori means death :D Master Death... -Snigger- How lame.. Yeah don't question my explanation, if you don't get it, it's probably meant to be that way.

(2) 'How are her?'. I'm simply putting it that Mori-sama does not correct grammar, very much like myself. She was hated in her former village, much like Gaara.


	8. Warming up :

**Hmm.. This has been rewritten. The whole Pervert Championsship will be a oneshot or something instead. Yessmama! Let's get this story on a roll!**

Kakashi hid behind a tree, biting his tongue so he wouldn't whimper. That bitch was SCARY! He gripped his kunai tightly as he thoguht about his possiblities. He could always run and hide in Yuki's kimono. Kakashi hit his head back in the tree as nosebleed errupted like a fountaine. Kakashi quickly covered his masked nose with a nervous gasp. Was that a sudden burst of.. Blood lust? Could it be..!

"PERVERT!!" Anko bellowed as she came crashing through the trees.

"God damn, not now!!" Kakashi screamed as he jumped away before Anko could mush him into a bloody puddle of gore.

Anko grinned and turned her head towards him. She raised up straight and flexed her fingers, razor sharp sticks showing between her fingers.

Kakashi sweatdropped. "... You actually sharpened the dango sticks...?"

Anko just grinned: "Shut up and bleed, hentaioooooh!!" she screamed as she flung ten sticks at him at super speed.

Kakashi yelped and bolted through the forest, trying to keep a murderous pace, while dodging the many sticks that came through the air.

"HOLD STILL YOU FILTHY MAGGOT!! IT WON'T HURT A TINY BIT!!" Anko screamed before flinging out a scroll while running. She bit her thumb and streaked blood on top of the scroll, and the scroll vanished in a puff of smoke.

**Summoning scroll; Dango Stick Of Doom!! **Anko laughed evilly as she threw the 100 inches long, 14 inches diameter dango stick after the screaming ex-ANBU.

Just before the stick was piercing his head, a white flash crashed into the screaming male and forced him the other way.

Anko screamed in dissapointment and stomped the ground, making it crack, and a big tree falling down.

Mori crawled out from the broken branches and frowned. "Mission failed. No vodka." she growled before setting off, trying to find some other way to kill the Copy nin.

Anko teared up, and screamed to the skies. "MY LIIIIQOOOUUUR!! AND I'M OUT OF DANGO TOO!! I MIGHT AS WELL HAVE SEX WITH GENMA, FOR FUCKS SAKE!!"

Genma popped out from a random bush with sparkly eyes. "REALLY?! FINALLY I'LL LOSE MY VIRGINITY! AND TO ANKO, HOT DAMN!" he screamed before latching himself onto Anko.

Wether they had sex or not, is unimportant.

(But they didn't. Hahahahahaaaah!)

Kakashi stopped screaming when he was slapped in the face by Yuki. He went crashing through a few trees.

Yuki blinked and looked at her hand. "Oops." she muttered before shrugging it off. She jumped over the where Kakashi laid in a groaning heap and grinned.

She walked over him, one foot on each side of his hips, and bent over, showing a quite generous cleaveage. "Oooh, Kas-kun!" she singed in an overly sweet voice, smiling devishly._Time to make you blush, hot man! I mean old hot man! Argh! Old man! _Yuki fought in her mind but saw Kakashi open his eye, and saw it concentrate on the probably blurry image he was seeing. She smirked when his pupils dialated and widened until almost his whole eye was black. "My face is up here, asshole..!" Yuki growled, but smiled nontheless.

Kakashi lifted his head and did something Yuki did not see coming.

He had raised his hand and closed it around her back, and then he had dragged her down.

"What the-" Yuki began but was cut off as she felt a soft fabric caress her lips. She moved her head to the side and her eyes twitched. "If your gonna kiss me spontaniously then plan it better! TAKE OFF YOU MASK!!" she growled and pushed down the object of her hate and kissed him herself.

Kakashi blushed, but not enough for Yuki's taste.

She grinned into the kiss and her finger found the way around his neck, she pushed up the mask and pushed a spot beneath his chin, making Kakashi go limp for a second, panting heavily.

"W-where did you learn.." he trailed off as she pushed it again, making him moan with pleasure. "S-stop..." he muttered as a blush flooded on his face.

Yuki laughed and slid her fingers down his shoulder, caressing his arms, poking his bicep lovingly. "And here I thought you were going to act like a hound.. I must say I'm dissapointed in you.. _Kakashi_..." Yuki whispered into his ear, nibbling his earlobe before getting off him.

Kakashi laid sprawled on the ground, blushing with swollen lips and a pleasurable throbbing in his neck. He wondered if this was the humiliation the females in Icha icha felt after they had been assaulted by the men..? He wanted to make Yuki feel the same.. He WAS going to act like a hound from now on.

Yuki grinned and fixed her bra through the kimono, making Kakashi drool slightly. She rolled her eyes and shook a hand infront of his face. "Kaka-chan, if you won't stop staring at me very impressive bosom, I'll kill you with it." she said, sounding bored.

Kakashi only nodded and lowered his eyes more.

**SLAP!**

"Baka!" she hissed at the whimpering heap on the ground. "Can't we just go home now?"

_Aww.. She called my apartment "home"! Wait, "we"? _Kakashi thought in his dazed mind.

He was dragged through a few bushes on the way home, Yuki cursing her luck all the way.

"Ooy, Yuki-chan! I have to meet my team today!" Kakashi sounded like he was apologizing.

"Oh! Well then," Yuki chuckled, "-see you later, roomie! I was thinking we could go have sex now, but we can't keep those poor kids waiting now can we?" she said and turned to bound away, silently thanking all the gods for team 7.

Kakashi showed up on the hospital, being carried by his team. After a quick check-up, they said he was suffering from extreme blood-loss.


End file.
